The Lutheran Hour
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"Reconciled Reconcilers"
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Text: 2 Corinthians 5:17-20
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Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:16-19).
Christ is risen. He is risen, indeed. Hallelujah! Amen!
On May 13, 1981, Pope John Paul II was greeting crowds in St. Peter’s Square. Children and adults clamored to catch his eye. As he rode in his car surrounded by security guards, four shots rang out. Someone had just tried to kill him. The bullets penetrated his torso and right arm and grazed his left index finger.
It didn’t take long for the would-be assassin to be apprehended. Mehmet Ali Agca had escaped from a Turkish prison where he was being held for the murder of a journalist. His motive for trying to kill the Pontiff was a mystery, but his murderous intent was clear.
Less than a year and a half later, Pope John Paul, now fully recovered from the shooting, decided to visit Agca. Clothed in his papal robes, John Paul entered the prison in Rome and sat with the young criminal in the corner of his barren cell. What did Pope John Paul do? How did he respond to the violent attempt on his life? What was his reaction to the man who wanted to see him dead?
He forgave him. He entrusted the final judgment of this man’s actions to Jesus. He let it go.
You might be thinking, “Well, that’s the pope. He’s supposed to forgive.” You might be thinking, “My life is a different story. It’s not as easy for me.”
In fact, some feelings of hurt may be lingering in your life right now. Perhaps you have gaping wounds in your relationships, a truckload of trial that affects you every day.
Lewis Smedes, author of a book called Forgive and Forget, talked about the deep and abiding difficulty of relationship damage. He said, “It is always personal, unfair, and deep.”
There are many people today wandering around today wounded. You may be one of them. So, the real question is, is there hope? Is there hope for me, for you? Is there hope for your heart if you’ve been hurt by a significant other, betrayed by a friend, disappointed by a parent, or harmed by a hurtful person? How can you live well when relationships in your life are in shambles?
You might say that today relationship raggedness runs rampant because of real hurts. It can lodge in your life and not let you go. The pain, the bitterness, and, yes, even the hatred, can take over your life. It can become who you are as a human being. Maybe you’re at that point as you know no other life but one of lingering sadness, constant thoughts of revenge, or empty hopelessness. How can you be freed from what seems to be a seemingly inevitable, impenetrable prison?
Smedes gave the answer in his book. It’s not easy to hear. It may not be fully understood, but hear him and give this message a chance in your life. He said, “When you feel this kind of three-dimensional pain, you have a wound that can only be healed by forgiving the one who wounded you” (p.5).
Wait a minute. Healed only by forgiving? That doesn’t seem fair. That seems like you’re letting a no-good culprit off the hook!
Before you reject this daring statement, let me explain. Forgiveness does not mean being unfair or letting someone “get away with it.” It means there is another way for you when you are wounded by someone.
God calls it “reconciliation.” Listen to the Apostle Paul speak in 2 Corinthians, chapter five: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:16-19).
The Biblical word for “reconciliation” is rooted in a word that means “to transform.” It’s connected with a word that tells us there is something else. On the one hand there’s the old way that you and I expect, but on the other hand God has a surprise of grace. This other way was given as a gift by means of what God did through His Son, Jesus. You heard the Apostle Paul say it: God reconciled us to Himself through Christ. He was reconciling the whole world to Himself. How did that work? He didn’t count our sins against us, but instead, counted them against Jesus when Jesus was put to death on the cross.
Every thought, word, action, accident, slip-up, bad attitude, disobedience, and sin that you and I have ever committed against our Creator, the Holy God, was piled on Jesus Who was punished in our place. The price was paid. God made another way where there was no way. It was a way of justice-sin was punished. But it was a way of righteousness that made possible a new way of grace. God gave us love we didn’t deserve. God reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ. Instead of destroying us or leaving us to suffer in our anger or pain, God forgave us in Christ. He let it all go because Jesus took it upon Himself.
Here’s a truth that you can take to the bank. God is much better at taking care of hurt and injury, pain and sin, than we are. All we know is payback, retribution, and the joy of seeing others suffer as much as we think we’re suffering. All we know is self-destruction and slavery to woundedness. God came up with a plan that was totally different. He created the possibility, no, the reality of reconciliation and forgiveness: handing over all your personal, unfair, and deep pain to Him and letting Him carry it for you.
Hal Elrod discovered this gift in a very personal way. When he was just twenty years old, he was driving home after giving a dynamic speech at a sales meeting. Hal was on cloud nine. The crowd at the gathering gave him his first standing ovation. Driving home on the freeway in his new Ford Mustang, feeling like he had the world by the tail; suddenly, a drunk driver in a large pick-up truck sped toward him going the wrong way. He hit Hal’s car head-on. The airbag deployed, but Hal’s car spun sideways in the opposite direction of oncoming traffic. Another car hit the driver’s side of his vehicle, crushing the door and pinning Hal inside. It took first responders an hour to extricate Hal from the vehicle. Because of his injury and blood loss, Hal’s heart stopped beating for six minutes as rescuers tried to revive him.
It looked as if all was lost, but thankfully the medical team got his heart beating again. Hal was a broken and seriously injured young man though. The doctors told his parents that he experienced severe brain damage, he had multiple broken bones, and he had serious internal injuries. If he survived, they said, he probably wouldn’t ever walk again.
But three weeks after the incident, Hal, with lots of help, took his first steps. Today Hal is an author and a speaker. How did that happen? Well, considering the physical healing; there’s many reasons. But the emotional; it’s simple and it’s powerful. Hal found another way. Instead of letting hatred, bitterness, and disappointment grow over his lot in life, Hal remembered, “If you can’t change it, don’t let it run your life. Take five minutes to grieve, complain, and moan. Then let it go.” But Paul does even better than that. He says, “Then, give it all over to Christ, the crucified, risen One and leave it all in His hands!”
That’s the power of forgiveness. This is the life-saving gift of reconciliation. There is an option to grudges, anger, resentment, and paralyzing pain. God gives you another way. In fact, God Himself had to literally create this other way!
And that’s why Paul says, “Therefore, we ….ambassadors for Christ….implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake God made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him (Jesus) we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:19-21).
That’s how it works. Jesus became sin so that we might become the righteousness of God. If you and I were on our own, we would have no place to put the pain and damage of our relationships. But we’re not on our own. God the Father sent His only Son to carry the pain and damage for you and me. Instead of having to live a life twisted and misshapen by emotional pain-a wronged life, God gives you a right life-one that is marked by His loving embrace, the forgiveness of your sins, and the capacity in Him to share His love with others.
So, let’s get practical today. Let’s apply this to your own regrets, and guilt, and shame. What do you do with the genuine hurt and pain you’ve caused? What do you do with your mistakes in life? How do you handle the things that you can’t undo anymore? You can’t do anything, but Christ can, and in Him you are a new creation. The old is gone because of Him; the new has come because of Him. You were crucified with Christ and raised to new life because of your baptism in Him. You can’t do anything, but God did everything in Jesus for you! The old is gone.
Now, the devil is going to try to whisper accusations from your past. The evil one will try to convince you that you can’t be a new person in Christ. But with a spirit of humility, repentance, and gratitude, you can respond, “Jesus gave me another way,” and by faith, I’m going to live that new life in Him. Live as one reconciled to God, forgiven. Let your Savior keep taking away the poisonous grudges and regrets that try to clog your heart and mind. Let your Redeemer and your friend, Jesus, give you the strength to apologize to people you’ve hurt. Let God make His appeal through you-His appeal for another way given as a gift through Jesus Christ.
People will see the difference in you. Instead of beating yourself up and isolating yourself from others, you’ll humbly start brand new. You’ll have a sense of peace. Even if some relationships can’t be rebuilt, you, yourself, can be a powerful witness for the transformation God works through His gift of reconciliation. You can show people in your life that there is hope.
Please know, dear listener, that as you live this other way, this way of reconciliation through Christ, you’re going to need God’s Word to sustain you every day. You’ll need your fellow forgiven followers of Jesus to encourage you. But take your first steps in that new life in Him. God has left your old life behind, put it to death; He silenced it at the cross. In Christ you already are a new creation!
And let’s get even more practical; let’s apply this power to how you actually can handle the hurt you’ve been handed by others. What do you do with all that pain? Once again, you can’t do anything, but Jesus can. Instead of pondering payback all the time, God has made you now a reconciler. You can specialize in the other way. It doesn’t even matter whether the other person wants to make peace. Pile the load on the shoulders of the Savior who died and rose again. Then wish the person who has hurt you, wish them well. In Christ, because of Christ, wish him well. Wish her well. Pray that their life can be better too. Ask God to free them from being so hurtful. Lift the people in your life before God’s throne of justice and grace and ask Him to take them into His care.
This doesn’t mean you take abuse or relinquish healthy boundaries. It simply means that you operate another way and you leave the ultimate issue to Jesus Himself. As a reconciler, you embody the new way opened to you in Jesus Christ.
That’s what Lew Smedes meant when he said, “When you feel this kind of three-dimensional pain, you have a wound that can be healed only by forgiving the one who wounded you.” And you can forgive, because God in Christ has already forgiven you too. That forgiveness frees you. God gives you another way, a good and healthy way, a gracious way, to handle real hurts.
I hope you think deeply today about this word “reconciliation.” It’s an incredible word in the Scripture for all of us because it has eternal promises and temporal power. Think about it. The Bible says that God reconciles. He then lets His reconciliation live in you and flow through you. He relieves you of what you can’t change and frees you from the slavery of sin and woundedness. The old is gone. It’s really gone. The new has come. And I’m going to be bold here; it’s the only thing that really, really works in this life.
Have you heard of Reality TV? I’m not a big fan. It’s show after show of showing people at their worst, people confronting people with their weaknesses as if such confrontation alone will make a difference. You know the truth. It doesn’t.
That’s why it amazes me, year after year, as a pastor, when I see, not the reality of reality TV, not the rampantness of sin and destruction, not the bravado of humanity that says that the real fix to all of our problems is right around the corner. No, it’s when I see this great miracle; the love, the forgiveness, the mercy, the humility of God’s grace alive in God’s people from every walk of life, from every station in life, amidst every kind of scenario in this life.
When I see Jesus Christ and His truth, His love, His mercy, His forgiveness alive in the lives of God’s people as forgiven sinners, as reconciled reconcilers, mercied merciful friends and neighbors; I’m awed by what God can do in the lives of people who put their trust in Jesus Christ alone.
The love of Christ is the only thing that lasts. Being reconciled to God in Christ is the only thing that holds and that is what brings light into darkness, overcomes anger with truth and love; and brings hope right into the middle of despair.
Reconciliation to God changes everything.
This is the gift that God wants you to have today. In Christ, you’ve been given another way to live, live it now and forever. Amen.
LUTHERAN HOUR MAILBOX (Questions & Answers) for March 06, 2016
Topic: What is the Best Way to Solve a Conflict with Someone in My Life?ANNOUNCER: What’s the best way to resolve a conflict with someone? That’ll be our question today for Pastor Gregory Seltz. I’m Mark Eischer.
SELTZ: Mark, that’s a timely question. I have no doubt that all of our listeners need to talk about this challenging topic at one time or another.
ANNOUNCER: That’s right. Conflict resolution is a very sensitive issue. When you have a broken relationship, that could even prevent you from thinking clearly and acting faithfully.
SELTZ: Right. We’re fallen human beings who don’t always respond to conflict with clarity and compassion. In fact, it’s very tempting to run away or avoid the situation of conflict or to lash out and get into attack mode. Very real emotions need to be processed and dealt with, and we have to be careful that those emotions don’t cause more hurt-for ourselves or for others.
ANNOUNCER: So what steps should our listener take?
SELTZ: Jesus said, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone” (Matthew 18:15). You notice that Jesus didn’t say, “Go and tell everyone in your life how lousy the other person is.”
ANNOUNCER: He also didn’t advise us to avoid that person at all costs or give him a piece of our minds.
SELTZ: Right. In the following statement He says, “If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” The goal in dealing with conflict is not to put the other person in his or her place, but to gain that person back into your life.
ANNOUNCER: At some point, though, you need to get together with that person and have an honest conversation with them.
SELTZ: Right. And that’s not always easy. In fact, it’s humbling, difficult, and sometimes even awkward. But it shows Jesus’ love and compassion in action. In order to get to that step, you may need some time to settle down, take a deep breath, and work through some of the raw emotions of sadness, anger, or even betrayal.
ANNOUNCER: Don’t expect to resolve that issue in one day.
SELTZ: That’s helpful clarity, Mark. I think we feel that everything has to be cleaned up and tidied up immediately in our relationships. Now Paul does counsel not to let the sun go down on our anger and not to let the devil get a foothold when we experience conflict with others, this urgency of conflict resolution, it’s got to be balanced by the time and the process that Jesus unfolds in Matthew 18.
ANNOUNCER: Right. People might either dismiss that hurt too quickly or they might let it fester too long.
SELTZ: Exactly. Jesus tells us to take the time necessary to turn it over to Him and do all that we can to reconcile with others in His power and with His peace.
ANNOUNCER: I can think of two different scenarios. One is that the person is willing to talk and reconcile. But, what if the person who hurt you isn’t willing to settle things? What then?
SELTZ: Well, that first one that you mentioned, that’s a wonderful scenario when someone recognizes the way that he or she hurt you and willingly apologizes and mends fences. That’s a beautiful thing. Then the journey of forgiveness begins as you reestablish trust and you work to renew that relationship.
ANNOUNCER: That takes time, but it sure helps to have a willing ally, doesn’t it?
SELTZ: It does. The other scenario though that you were talking about is very painful and difficult, but you’re not without God’s help even there. Sometimes people aren’t willing to acknowledge that they’ve hurt you, or there may be people who hurt you who have now died you can no longer contact them anymore. This is where the beauty and power of God’s forgiveness comes in.
ANNOUNCER: One definition of “forgiveness” means to let go, to release.
SELTZ: When the person who wounded you does not work with you toward reconciliation, that’s when you can release your pain to God Himself. On a daily basis, instead of letting it take over your life or poison your heart with resentment, you can let it go and place it on the shoulders of Jesus who carries all your sin and pain for you.
ANNOUNCER: No matter what the scenario, we can’t handle and resolve conflict alone.
SELTZ: And we weren’t meant to. We need God’s grace and strength, His Holy Spirit. We can also get help from trusted friends to take those next steps. But here’s the key. The key is that God is faithful and He will bring us through even the most difficult of conflicts.
ANNOUNCER: So, that’s the word on conflict resolution; placing it on the shoulders of Jesus.
SELTZ: Absolutely.
ANNOUNCER: Thank you, Pastor Seltz. This has been a presentation of Lutheran Hour Ministries.
Action in Ministry for March 06, 2016
Guest: Dr. Steven HokanaANNOUNCER: You’re listening to The Lutheran Hour and this is Action in Ministry. You know it’s been said, “When you forgive, you, in no way, change the past but you surely do change the future.”
SELTZ: Wow, isn’t that the truth? The reconciled reconciler looks toward the future and isn’t held captive by the past, Mark.
ANNOUNCER: And here with us to talk about this concept of forgiveness and reconciliation is Dr. Steven Hokana. He’s a retired military chaplain with more than 30 years’ experience and it’s a great thing to have him with us in the studio today. The last couple of times we’ve spoken via Skype from an undisclosed location…somewhere else in the world. But he’s going to talk with us about forgiveness and reconciliation. He’s also the author of a great resource titled Forgiveness is a Choice.
SELTZ: Dr. Hokana, thanks for joining us.
HOKANA: Well, thanks for having me. It’s great to be in the same hemisphere.
SELTZ: Yes, indeed. That quote that Mark mentions says so much about forgiveness and reconciliation. We can’t change what’s past but forgiveness can change our future. But let’s keep it simple for those listening in. What does it mean to be forgiven and to forgive?
HOKANA: Well, in the first place, and you stated this so well in your sermon, I thank you for that, is that we’re already forgiven by Christ’s activity on the cross.
SELTZ: Right.
HOKANA: Now what we do with that is one of the most imperative, important elements of being a Christian; and that’s to forgive one another.
SELTZ: Yeah, resource so that you can put it to work. But we live in a culture that tempts us exactly the opposite way of that, right?
HOKANA: We live in a culture…and all of your listeners certainly are not a part of this, but we’re pressured by that…the culture of revenge-that you’re cut off on the highway or somebody does you wrong, you feel like automatically you have to take revenge. You have to do something to receive retribution. It’s just so not so for the Christian walk.
ANNOUNCER: I hope many of us would agree that forgiveness is certainly the right thing to do and why is it the right thing? What are the benefits?
HOKANA: Well, one looks at forgiveness and the gift that they’re given through forgiveness. It always takes us back to the cross again. But with forgiveness of sins, it leads to freedom; a sense that you are free from guilt and retribution. It can even lessen stress, create a sense of inner peace, fuller acceptance, and fuller joy. It’s interesting that the psychological community is now picking up on the concept of forgiveness and is including that in many of their common practices.
SELTZ: What a reality to have real forgiveness, then, in Christ that you can actually put to work in your life. But on the other hand, Dr. Hokana, when you don’t forgive, there are effects to that too, right?
HOKANA: There are. Absolutely. We’ve seen them all. Those of us who are pastors and Christian counselors; we’ve seen people who are held in bondage to the lack of forgiveness. We’ve seen self-pity. We’ve seen anger that’s unfocused and lashing out at others, hurting yourself; it is absolutely a dead-end road.
SELTZ: You know, forgiveness….we are actually trying to reconcile relationships too and I think the ideal situation when forgiveness is in action is to be reconciled. But, what about when that doesn’t happen? What if you’ve wronged someone and they refuse to forgive you?
HOKANA: Well, I see there are two areas and I’ve wrote about this in our booklet. You can seek forgiveness. You can write a letter if that doesn’t work verbally. You can write them a check. I joke about that. If that doesn’t work then you can send that check to your favorite charitable organization.
SELTZ: He’s been sending me checks. I’m not sure what I should understand by this. But seriously….
HOKANA: But ultimately it leads to the cross. Even if they will not forgive you, you still have forgiveness through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and for what He’s done for us on that windswept hill outside of Jerusalem.
ANNOUNCER: So you’re saying that even if someone chooses not to forgive us, we can still be reconciled to God through faith in Jesus Christ.
SELTZ: God doesn’t withhold from us. As His people, we keep coming with His gifts and that’s great freedom. And that’s great hope. And that’s what’s in this booklet. Dr. Hokana, what a wonderful resource you have provided for us and I know it’s going to help many who are listening in today. So get that resource. Thank you for joining us.
HOKANA: Thank you for having me.
SELTZ: That’s our Action in Ministry segment today; to bless, to empower, and to strengthen your life in Christ for others.
ANNOUNCER: Forgiveness is a Choice, that’s the title of this resource and you can view or download this material for free at lutheranhour.org. Look for the tab called Action in Ministry or call 1-855-john316. That’s 1-855-564-6316. Our email address is info@lhm.org.
Music Selections for this program:
“A Mighty Fortress” arranged by Chris Bergmann. Used by permission.
“I Trust, O Christ, in You Alone” From The Concordia Organist (© 2009 Concordia Publishing House)
“God Loved the World So That He Gave” From The Concordia Organist (© 2009 Concordia Publishing House)