Hard Hearts

Christ is risen. He is risen, indeed! God’s love was shown in His gracious promise to the fallen sinners of the Garden. It became incarnate in Jesus’ birth; was proven in His perfect life, and was shown in His sacrifice upon the cross. Now, in His resurrection, we are assured of God’s love that offers forgiveness and salvation to all who are brought to faith. God grant this faith to us all. Amen.

Years ago I knew a pastor who didn’t play games with His people when they came to him for advice. He was a unique individual and because he was so special, he could get away with things which other preachers didn’t dare think of doing. A

couple from his congregation told me how they had, years before, gone to this pastor for counseling. Actually, that’s a

misnomer. They weren’t looking for counseling; they wanted him to give his blessing to their divorce.

The conversation, at least according to the way they told it some time afterwards, began something like: “Pastor, lately

things have been a bit rough around our house and, well, we’ve decided to get a divorce and we want to make sure that you

and the church approve of what we’re doing.” Now what this couple hoped the man of God would say was something like:

“Goodness, gracious, my, oh my. A divorce? Well, if you’ve tried, you’ve tried. I guess there’s not much else you can do.

By all means, go ahead and get your divorce.” That’s what they hoped he would say, but he didn’t, not by a long shot.

Instead the pastor began that memorable interaction by speaking first to the husband. He said, “Scripture tells us you’re

supposed to love your wife as Jesus loved the church – and that means you give yourself to her; you’ll do what is necessary

to protect her; you’d be willing to die for her, if need be. That is, after all, what Jesus did.” Then the pastor lowered

his voice and said, “Do you think you can love your wife that way?” The wife looked all sort of smug-like as she heard her

husband gave a nervous laugh and reply, “You’ve got to be joking. After all that’s gone on between us, loving her that way

would be impossible.” The pastor nodded and then he turned to the wife who was still smiling from ear-to-ear. “And you? The

Bible says you’re supposed to look up to and
respect this fellow; that you’re supposed to be a helpmeet for him. I would imagine you would be willing to set the example

and do that. Am I correct in that?” Her smile instantly disappeared but she didn’t say a word. She just shook her head

“no”; although I probably don’t have to tell you she gave a negative response.

The couple was still hoping the pastor would concede and bless their divorce. Theirs was a foolish hope. All the pastor did

was back up a bit and try again. “OK,” he said, speaking to them both: “if you can’t start with the Bible’s ideal, and I

know that’s a very hard thing to do, how about we try another of Jesus’ ideas. You remember, the Savior said we should

‘love our neighbor as much as we love ourselves’?”

That comment wasn’t out of the pastor’s mouth before both husband and wife began to respond. From years of practice, each

presented a defense of their actions and an assault on the deeds of the other. The pastor felt he was watching a

fast-paced tennis game between two competitors who had confronted each other many times before. The husband would serve up

a charge and the wife would effortlessly smash it back. There were only two differences between a tennis match and what the

pastor was watching. First, a tennis match has winners- and there would be no winners in this confrontation; second, a

tennis match has an out of bounds. The things these two were saying made it plain nothing was too hard, too harsh, too

cold, too cruel, too dirty to be declared out of bounds. It took a while before they ran out of breath and had to pause to

get some air.

It was then, while the couple was preparing for round two, the pastor volunteered: “Tell me, does anybody ever win these

battles?” The husband spoke first, “She wins them all – she thinks.” She shot back: “I do win them all. That’s because I

can think, which is obviously something which can’t be said about you.” Seeing he was losing control, the pastor continued:

“You came to ask for my approval. I will give it to you.” The husband and wife exchanged a glance which said, ‘Yes!” The

pastor didn’t break stride; instead he added: “It’s something I will give, if you are willing to try a small, three-week

experiment. It’s obvious you can’t love as Jesus did; and you admit your inability to love as neighbors should. Then let’s

try this. The Bible says, ‘Love your enemies and do good to those who persecute you.’ That’s what I’m going to ask of you.

For the next three weeks. If you really are enemies, then be Christian enemies. If the other person is persecuting you, I

want you to do good in return.”

Now, I don’t know another pastor who could have managed to pull this off, but this guy did it. And amazingly, the couple

tried. It was incredibly hard, but they did give it their best shot. When one of them got nasty, the other got nice.

Amazingly, the ongoing, bloody battles became less frequent, less intense. As they broke years of bad habits, the fights

became skirmishes, the skirmishes became struggles, and the struggles eventually got to the point where they looked at each

other and laughed. That’s right, they laughed together and they pretty much stopped hating. They began to rediscover some

of the things in each other that had originally brought them together. As their pastor had hoped, this couple progressed

from loving each other like enemies, to loving like neighbors, and, eventually, and not without some serious setbacks,

loving each other as God had intended they should love.

Love. It’s an interesting subject, isn’t it? Wherever you look people are talking about love; they’re singing about love.

Goodness, think of the song titles: All You Need is Love; Love is a Many Splendored Thing; When I Fall in Love; Saving All

My Love for You; Love is in the Air. There are hundreds, thousands of songs which speak of falling in love, and just as

many which describe the terrible and intense pain which comes when we fall out of love, or someone falls out of love with

us. Because love stories sell, the tabloids are filled with narratives of the rich, the famous, the sensational

personalities among us who are falling in love and into a relationship – or falling out of love and ending what usually has

been a most temporary commitment. Monthly magazines will tell you how to get someone interested in you; how to heat up that

interest if it’s starting to cool down and how to euthanize the interest of a person when you’re just not into them any

more. The only part of love which seems to get ignored is that part which shows a couple content and caring and complete –

and Christian.

Amazingly, people of every age have a fascination with love or the lack of it. A few months ago people were dying to know

more about John Verses Kate Plus Eight. Before that it was Charles and Di; previous to that couple there was Elizabeth

Tailor and Richard Burton. When I was young, my parents were interested in Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio. I can’t tell

you where this fascination began, but I do know Rome was intrigued when Caesar started chasing Cleopatra around the

pyramids. How does the song go? “Love and marriage, love and marriage, goes together like a horseless carriage.” Goes

together like a horseless carriage? That’s not right, is it? Of course, when you look at the number of people who aren’t

getting married and the number of folks who are unhappy with their marriage, maybe that rewrite is closer than any of us

might wish to admit.

All of which makes many of us wonder, “With everybody working at love, and with some folks talking about marriage, why is

it so hard to get it right? Why does it so often seem to go so wrong? Why is it when the young, and the not so young, look

at the God-instituted covenant of marriage they get scared to death?” Now this is the point in the message where I’m

supposed to reveal my own, incredibly deep revelations on how a couple can sustain the head-spinning, heart-pounding,

palm-sweating romance they had when they first fell in love. Maybe that’s what is supposed to happen, but I’ve got to tell

you the truth: “Don’t wait too long; while there are answers, I don’t have all of them.”

And yes, I do believe there are answers. We’ve all seen many long-term husbands and wives who have found some of the

answers. Even after 50 or 60 years together, they still hold hands; they still look deeply into each other’s eyes and they

still exchange a public smooch. When you see such a couple, you automatically turn and smile. You smile to see a man and

woman who are still, very obviously, head-over-heels in love. Sadly, most of these couples have never taken the time to

develop a wonder-formula which will allow us to duplicate what they so obviously have. None of them have ever packaged a

product that can be sold on a late night infomercial.

If you ask these couples to explain the secrets of their success, and I have, I can tell you what will happen. They will

think, they will stutter, stammer, search for some kind of an answer to explain why they are different. Yes, they know

they’re different. After all, they’ve watched many of their friends’ marriages come to a slow and agonizing end. They know

they’re different, but they’re not sure what that difference is. If you observe them long enough and listen hard enough,

you will find some common themes. You’ll find they believed parents, not children, should be in charge of the home. You’ll

notice that when they disagreed, and they did disagree, they didn’t contradict each other or put each other down in front

of the children. If you watch these couples, you will detect they disciplined their children, but – and this is important

– all discipline was done in love and it was appropriate for the infraction.

Other couples have shared simple ideas they think might keep a marriage solid. One said, “We made it a point to treat each

other better than we treated the person who bagged our groceries.”

Another commented: “At our house, every week we had three family meals at which everyone had to be present. There were no

exceptions. The kids could bring a guest to dinner, but they had to be there.” Another couple said, “During life’s highs

and lows, we expected everyone to rally around the person who was celebrating or hurting. We laughed and cried together.”

Those are all good ideas and these couples offer some solid advice, but none provide a universal answer to the questions:

“What has happened to love; what’s gone wrong with marriage?”

If you really want an answer to those questions, you’d have to come back to college with me. It was at college I found the

answer. It happened on a Saturday. I hadn’t been home for a while, which meant I, not my mom, had to wash my clothes. I

packed up some pillow cases filled with dirty laundry and headed to the local Laundromat. Having thrown in the clothes, the

soap, and about five pounds of quarters, I sat down and read a really old magazine. Within the hour my clothes had been

transformed. Yes, they were clean, but cleanliness is not the transformation to which I refer. My underwear was now pink,

my white shirts were pink and my sweatshirts were smaller, much smaller. When I called Mom for advice, she said, “Honey did

you wash everything together? Did you dry all your clothes on a high temperature setting?” The answer was “yes,” to both

questions. The maroon sweatshirt and the white underwear had gone into the same machine. The sweatshirts had all been dried

on “high.” It was faster and cheaper to do it that way. That’s when Mom told me the answer to a successful marriage. She

said, “Honey, you’ve got to read the manufacturer’s instructions.”

When it came to doing laundry, consulting the manufacturer’s instructions was something that had never occurred to me. When

it comes to love and marriage, most people don’t think of, or wish to consult the Manufacturer’s instructions, either. If

you doubt me, look at what Mark 10 says. There you will read how some Pharisees tried to pull a fast one on Jesus by asking

Him a question about divorce. It was a “trick” question, because, no matter which way Jesus answered it, He would get

nailed. Jesus avoided the trap by asking them a question of His own “What does Moses say about divorce?” He asked. The

Pharisees replied, “Well, Moses allowed us to divorce our wives.” That’s when Jesus nailed them. The Savior said: “Yeah,

sure he did. But Moses allowed divorce only because you have hard hearts. What Moses allowed is not what God intended.”

Jesus, being the Manufacturer of love and the Creator of marriage, knew how this love thing is supposed to work. He still

knows, but very few consult with Him. Which is a shame. A lot of broken hearts and broken homes could be avoided if they

did.

Now, here is where things get interesting. Do you know what you will be told if you decide to consult the Manufacturer for

instructions about love and marriage? Do you know what God will tell you? It’s very simple. He will say, “Love as Jesus

loved.” Four words. That’s it. Love as Jesus loved. That’s the secret. What a contrast to human wisdom which says, “Don’t

get married, at least not right away. Live together. Have a trial run for a few years. See if you’re compatible.” Folks,

I’ve got news: if you go to a car dealer and ask to test drive a vehicle for five or ten years, it’s not going to happen.

The dealer knows sometime during those years that car is going to need repairs. He knows that if that car isn’t yours, you

won’t have a commitment, you’re going to walk away and test drive another vehicle. The same is true for living together,

which is why God’s wisdom is better.

Once again God, the Manufacturer of love and marriage, says, “Love as Jesus loved.” And how did Jesus love? That’s harder

for me to explain. It’s hard to put into human words something so wonderful, so giving. I can tell you this: Jesus loved us

not because of us, but in spite of us. When God set humanity up in the perfect Garden, humanity rejected His love. Our

first parents said, “We think we can do better. And they tried.” It was a disaster. Still, even though we rejected God, God

didn’t reject us. God continued to love us, and He showed that love by sending His Son to save us. Read through the first

four books in the New Testament and you will see how Jesus loved.

You will see how Jesus kept loving when He was rejected.

Society’s elite tried to bring Him down; the religious leaders tried to sully His reputation, but Jesus kept loving them.

When they called Him names, Jesus didn’t retaliate; no, He just kept loving them. When they didn’t understand or

deliberately misunderstood His mission of salvation, Jesus didn’t get all huffy and label them as “stupid.” When they

walked away from Him, He didn’t say, “good riddance to bad rubbish.” No, Jesus kept on loving. Love as Jesus loved. What

does that mean? It means you give yourself to someone else. That’s what Jesus did. He gave Himself, completely, totally,

faithfully, continuously. No exceptions, no compromises, no variations or second-guessing. Jesus loved us when He was born;

He loved us when He died on Calvary’s cross, and He loved us every moment in between.

He loved us with a love which was powerful and practical and profound. He loved us not because He didn’t have a choice, not

because He didn’t have any other offers, not because we were always beautiful and attractive, not because we always

reciprocated in kind. Jesus loved us because that was Who He was. Love as Jesus loved. What does that mean? It means you

love by giving yourself; lock, stock, and barrel. You hold nothing back, nothing in reserve. The other person’s welfare,

support, salvation is all-important. That’s how Jesus loved. His self-sacrificing love was what stopped Him from

retaliating when they beat Him, and told lies about Him, and spit on Him, and whipped Him, and crowned Him with thorns.

Look at Him as He hung on the cross. What do you think kept Him there, dying for you? Do you think it was the Roman nails;

or the guards at His feet? Don’t be silly. It was His love for you which kept Him there. It was His love which said, “I

will die so you might live.” That’s what it means to love as Jesus loved.

And if we did – if husbands loved their lives that way – and wives reciprocated in kind – what differences would we see?

What changes would there be in our homes? And if you’re thinking, “I’ll try if my spouse will,” you don’t get it. Love

isn’t given because of what it will get. That’s not a gift, that’s an investment. But Scripture is clear: God so loved the

world He gave His Son – He didn’t invest His Son. Now, because Jesus loved in His living and dying and rising, those who

believe in Him have their sins forgiven, their todays changed and their tomorrows transformed. Love as Jesus loved. That’s

the secret. And, if you wish to know more about this gracious love of our Lord, please, call us at The Lutheran Hour. Amen.

LUTHERAN HOUR MAILBOX (Questions & Answers) for October 4, 2009
Topic: Life on Other Planets?

Announcer: And now, Pastor Ken Klaus takes our questions and answers to a whole new level! I’m Mark Eischer.

Klaus: A whole new level?

Announcer: Well, maybe, “out of this world” might be more like it. It’s certainly a topic we haven’t dealt with before.

And, it stems from a conversation some college students were having. They want to know: Is there intelligent life on other planets and what would it mean if there were?

Klaus: That’s an easy one. I can answer that first one in a second: we don’t know.
Announcer: I figured that might be the case and we actually debated whether or not we should even discuss this question.

But, I understand there’s actually quite a bit of interest in the topic and there’s even a term to describe this area of theological study. It’s called “exotheology”- the theology of outer space.

Klaus: It’s theology’s own version of Area 51. And, people are fascinated to find out if we are alone in the universe.

Announcer: Exactly.

Klaus: The answer would still be: “we don’t know.” Now, I could say, beyond any shadow of a doubt that we aren’t alone. For example, the Bible talks about angels and demons. They exist. They’re out there. And we know that God is out there as well.

But when it comes to alien life forms -that’s a different matter. There are many people who speak as if they are sure – and I believe they think they are sure – but I can’t look on my cell phone speed dial and say, “Hey, Mark, let’s talk to a real, live space alien?” don’t know anybody who’s got those kinds of contacts.

Announcer: I understand. We don’t know. But this question, even though it comes to us from a college dorm, it does have a theological connection.

Klaus: And what do you see as the theological connection?

Announcer: Well, if there are space aliens-and again we don’t know that there are -would it be the duty of the Church then to try and convert them? Would they be sinners? Would they be under God’s condemnation? And, where would they fit in the new creation that God is bringing into being through Christ?

Klaus: You really weren’t kidding about us taking this to a whole new level! I know there are some folks who say the Old Testament prophet Ezekiel was describing flying saucers in his vision of the wheels in the sky. There are others who think St. John had a similar experience. It makes things interesting. You know, Mark, Christian writers, people like C.S. Lewis, have explored the subject. The scientific advisor to the Vatican has suggested that the discovery of extraterrestrial life would not compromise our faith because we can’t limit God’s creative freedom. Here’s the thing: Scripture is silent about extra-terrestrials. On the other hand, we may be able to come up with some insights. Not doctrines. Not absolutes. Nothing for sure.

Announcer: So, just sort of thinking out loud here.

Klaus: Yeah, that’s good. I like that. Let me ask: outside of humanity, is there intelligence in the animal world? And please, no jokes about intelligence inside humanity.

Announcer: In the animal world, yes, I would say so.

Klaus: Next question would be, “Did Jesus die to save the animals?”

Announcer: Well, not in the sense that they are culpable or needed to be redeemed from their own sin, although, like the rest of creation, they suffer from the effects of sin.

Klaus: What then, is it that sinners have but animals do not?

Announcer: Man was made in God’s image. We have a soul.

Klaus: Animals have a life force; they have intelligence, but not that soul.

Announcer: And how would you apply that?

Klaus: Simply this. Suppose there is life on other planets. Suppose they are smart. Does that necessarily mean they have a soul?

Announcer: Well, using your argument from the animal kingdom, perhaps not.

Klaus: If not, that would mean Jesus didn’t come to atone for them. It could mean that they don’t need to be converted.

Announcer: OK, I understand that. But is there anything from Scripture that might bear this out and perhaps add support to what you are saying?

Klaus: There is, although it’s probably a little bit of a stretch. Jesus, in His final words to the disciples, He says this, “You will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” He says nothing about witnessing to other planets. So, even though we tried to take this to a whole new level, the main thing is to remember that God came down to our level when He sent us a Savior.

Announcer: Thank you, Pastor Klaus. This has been a presentation of Lutheran Hour Ministries.

Music selection for this program:

“A Mighty Fortress” arranged by John Leavitt. Concordia Publishing House/SESAC