The Lutheran Hour
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"A New Breath of Life"
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Text: Ezekiel 37:1-10
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Prayer: Almighty and Everlasting God, today look with mercy upon all those with troubled marriages. Give husbands and wives patience and love, and an attitude of forgiveness. And let each of us, O Lord, hear clearly Your Word, to “be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other just as you O Lord have forgiven us in Jesus Christ” (Ephesians 3:32). In His name we pray. Amen.
Not long ago a gentleman contacted me asking for help in his troubled marriage. “My marriage,” he said, “has not been good for a long time. And now,” he says, “It’s a ‘stay or go’ situation for the sake of our children.” This gentleman then continued to explain, “There was no other person involved in his troubled marriage. We just ‘fell out of love,'” he said. “And now,” he continued, “since it has been so long apart I have no desire to enter back into marriage.” Finally, this discouraged gentleman concluded, “my wife and I owe it to ourselves to get good counseling. And if there is something that can make sense to us, maybe, just maybe, the marriage can be saved.”
Now my initial response to this man’s letter was rather clinical. My response may even sound callous and cold. I simply said to this gentleman “your situation is not unique. There are literally thousands of husbands and wives involved in troubled marriages, where the fire of friendship has gone out and even the glow of love has grown cold. Countless couples are now struggling in relationships where initial excitement of the romance and marriage has disappeared. Nevertheless, they stay together only for the sake of children or because of social stigma or because they simply cannot see themselves living alone.
I contacted this gentleman who requested advice for his troubled marriage. I offered to help him. I then also asked, “Although I will not use your name, would it be OK if I used your situation as a basis for giving Bible-based counseling to other couples.?” He agreed enthusiastically. “Hopefully, therefore, this counsel, based on the Word of God, can be a blessing to you also. And maybe you can pass this counsel on to others.”
As we often say, “let’s get right to the heart of the matter of marriage.” Let’s begin by listening not to what society is saying but what God Himself has said regarding marriage. You see, marriage is not some type of social arrangement that evolved in society. Marriage was instituted by God at the time of creation. God said, “It is not good for man to be alone, and therefore I will make a helper suitable for him” (Gen. 2:18).
Consequently, Adam and Eve became the first husband and wife. However, no sooner had God brought man and woman together, then the devil also set about to tear it apart. Even today the devil continues to destroy marriages by planting into our minds ideas about marriage and divorce that sound convincing but they are ideas which are unbiblical and ungodly.
For example, probably no phrase devised by the devil is heard more often in marriage counseling sessions, or divorce courts than these words: “we just fell out of love.” Now, this phrase might sound convincing in the secular world. However, according to the Word of God, marriage is not something you “fall into” or “fall out of.” The Bible does not speak of marriage as an emotional state of being. The Bible speaks of marriage as a relationship established not by human emotion but by the will of God. In the Gospel of Mark, we read one day “some Pharisees…came up to Jesus and asked Him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife. Jesus answered and said, “What did Moses command you?” The Pharisees then answered Jesus by saying, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send the wife away.”
Now, these legalistic Pharisees thought they were going to get off easy. They hoped they would make God, if not responsible, at least open to condoning divorce. Jesus however, turned the tables on these conniving Pharisees. Jesus clearly explained that it was the hardness of their heart that Moses wrote this commandment. Then Jesus spoke to the Pharisees those words so important for all of us today. “From the beginning of creation,” Jesus said, “God made them male and female. And for this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and the two shall become one flesh. Consequently, they are no longer two, but one flesh.” Then Jesus spoke these final and crucial words, “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
No, marriage is not some fleeting Hollywood fancy. Rather, marriage is an institution that God Himself established. Marriage is a relationship that God desires to continue as long as both parties live.
In “Hollywood,” life always seems glitzy and romantic. But, of all the images transmitted by Hollywood those involving marriage are especially demonic and misleading. The great majority of actors and actresses in Hollywood are some of the biggest hypocrites when it comes to romance. The majority are either involved in or have come out of non-functioning marriages. Use the Word of God, my friends, and never Hollywood, if you sincerely desire honest and helpful marriage advice.
Now, let’s also be honest in another area. Divorce is not the end of one’s problems. More often than not, divorce only creates endless negative consequences. For years, social “spin doctors” have been trying to convince the public that the effect divorce has on children is either minimal or non-existent. Recently, however, major news journals such as Time Magazine have carried lengthy cover articles documenting the damage divorce has on children, much of which, goes on and on for years and years.
Equally devastating is the deep spiritual effect divorce has on parents who are involved. Countless men and women who have experienced the pain of divorce are forced to live in endless regret and guilt.
Listen carefully. You see, not with man but with God there is “good news.” Those who have gone through the pain of divorce are welcomed by God at the foot of the cross of Christ — no less than anyone else. This does not mean our gracious and loving heavenly Father either condones or approves of divorce. He does not. Through His prophet Malachi, God says, “I hate divorce.” Nevertheless, because of His unexplainable love, God loves you no matter what you have done. In this life, however, you may have to suffer terrible consequences as a result of your poor decisions or your foolish actions.
Nevertheless, when Jesus died on the cruel cross at that moment, the innocent blood Jesus voluntarily shed was accepted by God the Father as a full and a total payment and a complete pardon for all of your failures. Isaiah the prophet gives all of us this comfort when he says our heavenly Father saw the bloody suffering of His Son Jesus and He, our heavenly Father, was satisfied.
St. Paul writes in Ephesians 1: “In Him [In Jesus] we have redemption through Christ’s blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses according to the riches of His grace.”
Therefore, if you have gone through the perils and pain of divorce, accept the forgiveness that God is now offering you through the painful and bloody death of His Son Jesus. Put your failures behind, my friends. Move on. Move on and make plans for a more positive future for your life.
There may be those tempted by the devil who want to continue to point out your past mistakes and failures. But as the Bible says, “Woe unto anyone who condemns those whom God has forgiven through the blood of His Son.” The apostle Paul says in Romans: “Who is it that will bring a charge against God’s elect? God is the One who justifies; who therefore is the One who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died. He who was raised, is at the right hand of God and who is now interceding for us.” This is the Good News for you. In spite of what you have done in life, God has forgiven you totally, in Jesus Christ. And Jesus is now before the Heavenly Father’s throne interceding on your behalf. Live therefore in the forgiveness that Christ has earned for you. With confidence and boldness say with the apostle Paul, “Who shall separate us from the love of God in Jesus Christ?”
So the next time you hear about marriage and divorce, remember this: Church weddings are more than symbolic. God has ordained marriages to express a concrete spiritual reality. When a wedding takes place before His altar God records this event in His permanent record. He doesn’t use erasable ink. If a divorce eventually takes place, this divorce is not due to the will of God. Rather, it is due to the sinful and hardened hearts of those involved.
This is also why forgiveness is the key to any successful marriage. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Husbands and wives who claim they never have a disagreement with their spouse are simply not telling the truth. Even Christian husbands and wives often disagree simply because God created them as individuals. Again, this is why forgiveness is the key. It is the key to any successful marriage.
Remember, I mentioned the gentleman who wrote me asking for counsel regarding his troubled marriage? Remember also how he stated he had “no desire” to get back into marriage?
Let me now speak to this type of attitude. I will also say a few words to those listening who are in difficult marriage situations. You, too, may be tempted to believe there is no way to “breathe new life” into the relationship with your spouse. I might also be tempted to believe this. However, as an ordained clergyman, I must urge all partners in troubled marriages to embrace and trust the decisive words Jesus spoke to His disciples when they were in a very difficult situation. Jesus said to them, “With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26).
Therefore, if you are in a challenging marriage and wonder “Is there any hope?” — these powerful words of Jesus are meant for your heart, your soul and your future.
Finally, it all boils down to this. The Lord is both able and willing to heal even the most difficult marriage. This healing can take place only if YOU are also willing! If you use the medicine God has prescribed. This medicine is His living Word and His life-giving Spirit. Like medicine that saves people from infections or illness, so also God’s living Word and Spirit has the power to remove anger, grudges and indifference. This same living Word of God will then also re-establish the relationship with your marriage partner and slowly rebuild that which God established first on your marriage day. This takes time, however. It requires patience and a sincere desire of both parties to make this work.
Again, you may sincerely say, “But I see absolutely no hope in my marriage.” God indeed understands your feelings. But at the same time, He sincerely desires you to believe not in your feelings, but in His almighty power. “With man,” Jesus said, “this is impossible. But with God all things are possible,”-even bringing dead marriages back to life.
O Lord, we pray. Plant a new seed of hope in the lives of husbands and wives where the joy of marriage now seems lost. Give hope where there is none; plant life where indifference and even anger reigns; and in the hearts of all troubled marriages, work a miracle, O Lord. First enable people to come to You and then, O gracious Lord, heal them.
You, O blessed Lord, are the One described in the book of Revelation as the One who can make ALL things new! In Jesus’ name we pray and believe. Amen.
LUTHERAN HOUR MAILBOX (Questions & Answers) for January 14, 2001
ANNOUNCER: Dr. Schulz, we hear from listeners who are frustrated because even though they know they’ve been forgiven by the blood of Christ, sometimes their friends and even family members keep bringing things up from the past reminding them of their failures. You talked about this a little bit in your message today, but let’s expand on it.
SCHULZ: I think our listeners would also better understand this topic if we could explain it all using a story from the newspaper. Several years ago, Newsweek magazine reported on a United States company located in the northeast, which because it had violated certain federal laws for a decade, ended up in court, and according to Newsweek, paid the largest fine for fraud any company has ever paid.
ANNOUNCER: What had the company done?
SCHULZ: This particular company, which is very well known, had issued its own credit cards and some of its customers, as we say, ran up very large financial debts. Through laws dealing with bankruptcy, a judge arranged for these people to be given a new start in their financial area of life. But then something very wrong took place.
ANNOUNCER: What was that?
SCHULZ: This company privately, you might say even secretly, sent letters to those people who had been forgiven their financial debt. The letter this company sent called for these people to pay back their previous debt, which had actually been forgiven. Now this rouse, if we can call it that, went on for several years. Finally, however, a bankruptcy judge found out what was going on, and this judge hit the ceiling! This dishonest company was then called into court and ended up paying many of its customers and the federal government millions of dollars.
ANNOUNCER: Let me see if I have this right. These people had their debts forgiven but the company came back on them and tried to put them back under law?
SCHULZ: Exactly. That’s correct. This is what happened.
ANNOUNCER: But how does that relate to the message today dealing with the subject of guilt and lingering remorse.
SCHULZ: Well, especially in marriage and divorce, this deals very directly. You see, it’s not unusual for those who have gone through the difficulty and pain of divorce to realize in God’s eyes they are forgiven. Nevertheless, some of their friends and even family members keep reminding them of all their failures. In so doing, these so-called “friends” are trying to make them repay debts or fines that have been forgiven by God in Jesus Christ. They are spiritually putting them back under the law just like this large company was trying to do to its customers. For the message today, I turn not to my opinion, but to the Word of God in the book of Romans 8 where St. Paul says, “Who is going to bring a charge against God’s elect? God is the One who justifies.” Then Paul says, “Who is the One who condemns?” Then he goes on, “Jesus Christ is He who has died, rather, who was raised, who was at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us.” This is really the heart of the Gospel. God provides all sinners forgiveness in the blood of Jesus Christ. When God forgives us, no one, absolutely no one, has the authority to put us back under the law and under our previous sins and debts like this company tried to do.
ANNOUNCER: So, what is the bottom line?
SCHULZ: Quite frankly, Mark, the bottom line is what Isaiah was speaking about when he said, “Our heavenly Father saw the suffering of his Son on the cross and was satisfied.” The wrath our heavenly Father had toward our sins and failures has been removed by the blood of Jesus Christ. This is very much like when a son and father in a family have a “falling out.” When they are restored again there is always great joy, happiness, and a hope of a new life when this great event takes place. Thank God, that in Jesus Christ, your sins were paid for. No one can charge you your debt of sin that God has already forgiven.
ANNOUNCER: Thank you, Dr. Schulz. With that we come to the end of our broadcast for another week.