EVEN MORE - Testimonies of those who have found more.

Loving the Unlovable?

The church is organizing a trip out of the country and several of us have gotten together to gather the information needed to make it a successful journey. The trip is open to all in the congregation including the senior high youth. Hank and Joyce have shown up who live next door to my parents and are looking to make the trip now that they have both retired and have more time to volunteer. Kylie, Jason, Brittany, Jordon, Eric and David have strolled in with slurpee’s in hand from the youth center and Joan, Ed, Maggie and Steve have dropped their kids into the child care room provided for their kids while they learn about the upcoming adventure. There were 10 or 12 others included but Jared and I couldn’t make out their nametags. We sat off to ourselves feeling like we didn’t fit in with any of the personalities.

Debbie led the meeting and while downloading important information that everyone needed to know a young guy who appeared to be in his mid 30’s was snickering and laughing as if to make fun of Debbie. Her body language was polite and she would cast a quick smile his way to let him know she was within earshot of his comments. She told us things like the importance of packing only what we would use as well as bringing enough bug spray to warrant off the huge population of flying roaches! Again the man commented, “I’ll just borrow some of yours!” Debbie walked over to him and extended her hand and said, “I didn’t get a chance to meet you before we started, and Paul is it?” “That’s what the tag reads, doesn’t it?” I’m glad you’re here. Yeah right, I’m only here because it’s a free trip from the folks so don’t go thinking of going all God on me. No worries Debbie said. As she continued the meeting and talked about packing a Bible and journal, Paul threw his body around in his seat and popped off saying, “Yeah you read and I’ll listen…. NOT!” All Jared and I could think of was how we were going to get through this trip with this guy. And by judging the looks Paul was getting from several of the others we weren’t the only ones feeling this way. By the end of the meeting we were seriously considering backing out. There’s no way either of us wanted to endure the torture of a flight proceeded by a 5 hour van ride to our destination let alone sleep in the same room for a week and work side by side with this guy.

The next day when Debbie called us to remind us of packing our passports I voiced my concerns regarding Paul. I felt a little twinge of guilt but just couldn’t get past it. Debbie said that there were enough people going on the trip that we probably wouldn’t spend much time with him. Jared and I wanted to be a part of this trip for so long that we conceded and decided to go ahead with our plans.

The following Saturday at 5 A.M. we pulled up to the airport to meet up with the group, who finds us first? Yes why it’s Paul! Now I am throwing myself around in the car seat and telling Jared how unfair this is and that we still have a chance to back out! Jared reminds me that it isn’t all about us and that’s not why we’re on the trip. All I am thinking is yes it is, my trip, my space, my fun factor, my experience, and my turn to give back to others. How do I go on a trip with a guy that is older than me by at least 10 years and acts like he’s 15? Jared turned and said, “Not everyone matures at the same time their bodies do!” Boy was he right. This Paul guy spouted things off that you would only expect from a teenager! Why even the teens on the trip were wowed by the immature comments that flew carelessly out of his mouth. It was if he had no filter between his brain and his mouth. Things flew out and at a high rate of speed. And he let everyone on the trip know how he felt about “Christians”. No one was going change his mind or the way he lived.

We flew with Paul right next to us on the plane. He sat in the same seat with us in the van and when we made it to our perspective spots on the basement floor of the church that hosted our stay you know who plopped his sleeping bag right next to Jared and I! I was ready to flip, this was too much, I didn’t want to hear his rude comments or groans and whimpers about how much work there was to do, we hadn’t even work the first day yet! My prayer? God please make him go away, let someone else love him, he’s just too unlovable for me! Lying on top of my sleeping bag turning the pages of my Bible I was listening to Paul talking to some of the teens off in a corner. He was telling them about his bad experiences with “Christians”. The teens sat quietly and listened for what seemed like an eternity. Sometimes it seemed as though Paul spoke just to hear himself talk. Finally Eric asked him, “What are you passionate about” Paul scratched his head and thought for a minute and then answered, “B-E-E-R” and laughed. He looked around and realized he was laughing alone. Eric repeated himself again, No really dude, what are you passionate about?” Paul dropped his head into his hands and sighed, “Nothing I guess. I’m not good at much and what I’m good at doesn’t require to much passion.” Eric asked, “So what are you good at?” “I’m pretty good at swinging a hammer, I can hit a nail straight on and pound it into the wood in 3 strokes!” The conversation took a bit of a turn and it was a good feeling to know somebody other than me had to deal with Paul.
I read a bit from the book of Acts and drifted off to sleep before lights out.

The next morning before the sun came up we readied ourselves for service. Bandana’s on our heads to fight of the sun that would be blazing by 11, sun screened our arms and faces, laced up our work boots and filled our water jugs. We piled in the van without much conversation. Some of us were still trying to wake up, others not so much the morning risers! An hour into the trip Paul started in about the roads being too bumpy and his back was hurting. One of the kids said we could pull over and he could walk! Paul shot a look that could peel paint off a wall. When the van came to a stop we all just stared out the window and then to one another. One person said, “What are we supposed to do, there’s nothing here?” The driver said, “Not for long you my friends are gonna build a house for a family.” Having no clue, no experience and no plan, prayer was definitely in order. We piled out and made a circle holding hands, Paul stood between Jared and I and this time he participated. We asked God for a miracle, we asked Him to lead us and guide us to be something we could never be a part from Him, His instrument to serve His people.

On the ground were plans to pour a concrete foundation, build a frame for the house, roof it and apply stucco. Everyone stood there just looking at the plans, they may as well been written in Chinese! Paul grabbed some 2 x 4’s and some string and said he knew how to measure for the foundation. I must admit there was a bit of hesitation over us all we’re supposed to follow Paul? This guy who has mouthed us all and acts like he’s 15? There wasn’t a choice; no one else knew what to do? As a cow to the slaughter, so we were to follow Paul. After an hour of doing as Paul instructed us to do we slowly started realizing he knew what he was doing. After the foundation was poured we took a break to let the concrete set. The next task was to frame the walls. Paul was on fire! He was right, he could bang a nail in 3 strokes! The teens would watch him and try to mimic his actions. Anyone who would walk past Paul to get a drink or more materials or what not would pat him on his back and tell him what an awesome job he was doing! Even Hank praised him for being a good leader. As Paul continued to swing the hammer I looked over and realized Paul was crying. “You okay?” I asked. “Yeah just sweating.” “You know it’s okay, we’re all here for ya. I’ve never been told I was a good leader, that’s always been someone else’s job. Not today Paul, today you have taught us!

That evening after dinner and a good head washing we gathered for a short devotion Paul again joined in. He never said a word but he was part of the team. After 5 days of pounding, sawing, nailing, and such a house appeared. A house built by a team of that would probably never hang out together outside of this trip, didn’t have much in common with one another and wasn’t very loving to each other in the beginning. A team led by the outcast, the annoying one, the one who shunned the “Christians” and the one who taught us all that we too could learn from him.

It was the last night of the trip, the last devotion and the last time we would all be together in prayer. I was still reading the book of Acts when it dawned on me that I was reading about the life of Paul. The one who publicly spoke against Christians, the one whose life was transformed by God from a persecutor of Christians to a preacher for Christ. Who was never afraid to face an issue head on and deal with it. Paul let God use every part of himself from his background, to his mind and even his weaknesses! God was speaking to me then by showing me that He was using our teams Paul in the same way! He took him in as His own just the way he was. But God had no plan to leave him the same way!

As we bowed our heads in prayer Paul thanked God for the opportunity to serve others. He also thanked Him for each and every one of us. My heart sank, I felt like a truly terrible person for feeling the way that I did about Paul. I realized that not only were we put in Paul’s life but Paul was put in our as well. Patience and loving the unlovable is what God teaches us. And how many times do you think you have been unlovable? I think a little differently now, I thank God for unlovable people for through them I learn much more than I could ever teach.