MORE FULFILLMENT

More Fulfillment in Life-

Are you missing something? I'm not talking about keys or pets or your library card. Is something missing in your life? Do you find your life fulfilling- or is it missing the mark somehow?

Many things stand in our way as we seek more fulfillment: health problems, strained relationships, financial setbacks, and resistance from others make it difficult for us to be all that we can be.

But problems outside of us aren't the only things that get in our way. Many internal obstacles can also stand in the way of more fulfillment: lack of self confidence, unrealistic goals, our own selfish desires, doubts, anxieties and fears all get in the way. When we want to accomplish something meaningful and important in our lives, we find so many things dragging us down and holding us back.

It isn't just a matter of needing to try harder either- it's the nature of who we are. Deep down every one of us is shackled with a selfish nature that wants everything handed to us on a silver platter. When we don't get those things we want- we can fell like our lives lack fulfillment.

Even if we know from experience that life doesn't work that way- there is no such thing as a free lunch- we also quickly learn that no matter how hard we try we just can't get everything we want! And the things we do get- money, possessions, friendships, security, health and love- aren't completely fulfilling all by themselves.

It isn't that God designed the world this way, or intended our earthly lives to be unfulfilling. Our poor choices and selfishness made it that way. But that's why Jesus came into this world. He came to make things right with God- to live a perfect life in our place, fulfilling God's plan since we can't. In the course of serving us He experienced incredible reversals- people who should have stood by His side became His bloodthirsty enemies; crowds that sang His praises one day called for His death a few days later; friends who ate and drank with Him abandoned Him and ran for their lives when He was arrested- one even betrayed Him to His enemies.

Watching Him hanging from the cross, surrounded by enemies, it looked like His life was one big failure. But then out of nowhere, a condemned criminal dying at His side brought meaning to that torturous death. Recognizing Jesus as God's Son he asked our Lord to remember him when He came as King. Suddenly it was clear that His death was fulfilling a purpose- He was saving the condemned criminal who was hanging there at His side- and you and me too.

Your life has a purpose too- but in the darkness and frustration of this world it isn't always easy to see. When you get to that point where you feel unfulfilled and ask yourself "What am I doing here?" It's time to look to Jesus' cross and remember that God makes all things work out for our good.

The Lord gives us confidence and faith in Him and makes us new creatures who can begin to fulfill His purpose for our lives. Though in this world we will never do it perfectly, He makes a beginning in us and will bring it to completion on the Last Day, when He will return to restore His creation and each of us- perfect creatures living perfectly fulfilled lives in a perfect world forever.

More Fulfillment in Marriage-

Are you frustrated in your marriage- feeling it isn't everything it is supposed to be? Do you wonder what ever happened to your 'happily ever after'? In every fairy tale Prince Charming finds his Princess, they triumph over all their difficulties, get married and live "happily ever after." That's what marriage is supposed to be, isn't it?

Well originally, yes! God's plan for marriage was that it be "happily ever after" for each of us. That's what God intended for our entire life- to be a "happily ever after" life. Our childhood was supposed to be perfect, our single years rich and fulfilling, and our marriages were to be lived happily ever after. But when our first parents rebelled against God's command, they lost their innocence, and with it they lost the perfect happiness and fulfillment God had intended for their lives and their marriage. And at the same time we lost our "happily ever after" too.

Ever since that day life and marriage have been and continue to be plagued with poor communication, misunderstanding, jealousy, doubt, selfishness, and a thousand other problems. While a good marriage can be the closest thing to heaven on earth, a hurting, broken marriage is the closest thing to hell on earth.

Where does your marriage stand? For most of us it lies somewhere in between the two extremes. It's not as bad as hell, but we would sure love to see it be closer to heaven. So how can we move our marriage further in that direction?

First we have to recognize our own faults as easily as we recognize our spouse's faults. Until we can admit we are part of the problem we'll never be able to be part of the solution. But once we see our own failings we can't stop there, we have to have God's help to deal with those failings. And help is exactly what He gives. Through the life, death and resurrection of His Son Jesus Christ He has dealt with our sins, faults and failings. He has forgiven them and removed the punishment we deserve. It doesn't mean we will stop sinning and hurting others, but it does mean God will always be willing to forgive the wrongs we do today and all through our earthly life.

Receiving that forgiveness through faith we can now extend it to our spouse as well. As we forgive one another's faults we can better work together and enjoy each other. Then we can share God's boundless love with each other and as we love and forgive one another our marriages will come as close as possible to that fairy tale "happily ever after."

But just because the fairy tale doesn't come true in this earthly life doesn't mean it will never come true. When Jesus returns and fully restores creation and raises us to new life, then the fairy tale will be real. We will live happily ever after with Him.

More Fulfillment in Family-

Who wouldn't love to spend every holiday together with their loved ones as one, big, happy family? The house ringing with the sounds of laughter and joy, the warmth of being together with brothers, sisters, parents, grandparents and grandchildren. Wouldn't it be great for our family to be like that- and not just on the holidays but every single day? But many of us don't know that and would be willing to settle for just one family holiday that doesn't end up with hurt feelings, angry words and crushed hearts.

Coming home to be with your family should be like a ship slipping into a safe harbor from the wild ocean- a place where you can be yourself and know you will be loved and accepted just as you are. It should be, but often it isn't.

Why is it so hard to get along with the people you should love the most? It's not at all what God had in mind when He made the first man and woman and united our first parents as husband and wife. They, like every man and woman after them, were to be united together in a loving marriage. They were to express that love in, to and through the children who were born of that marriage. And those children should love each other- after all- you share the same parents, and many of the same childhood experiences.

But just as Adam and Eve's sin damaged their marriage and all our marriages, it devastated their family and ours. Now brothers and sisters lash out against each other, resent each other, selfishly want all their parents' attention for themselves, blame each other for words and deeds done long ago in the shadows of their youth.

Those hurts linger for decades, and come back with stinging clarity as grown brothers and sisters reunite with their spouses and children for the holidays. Judgmental, critical, competitive impulses turn peaceful holidays into intense battlefields. Sometimes the only way to enjoy peace is to keep your distance- certainly emotionally, possibly even physically. Most of us would agree it's not what a family should be, but as they say, you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family.

It certainly isn't your choice, but we need to remember it was God's choice. He picked your family especially for you- your father, your mother, your brothers and/or sisters, or the fact that you had no siblings. And while He was hand-picking your family for You it was His will for you to enjoy one another's company and to rejoice in each other's presence. It's just that He doesn't force us to love and appreciate one another, or to be good parents for our children or good children for our parents. That is our choice. How then can we show the love and acceptance which leads to peaceful reunions and joyful times together?

Jesus came to repair the damage and heal our families. First He made it possible to restore the relationship between God and you. If that isn't made right, then you can't expect to make any other relationship right. Since Jesus gave you His perfect life as your own, God is your Father who loves you as you are. Since Jesus took your rebellious life as His own and suffered the wrath of God's judgment on that life, our heavenly Father accepts you as His own son or daughter and gives you His Holy Spirit to mold you into the unique person He made you to be.

Once our relationship with God is restored on account of Jesus' life, sufferings, death and resurrection, then He begins to repair our human relationships. He teaches us patience, love, acceptance, humility and meekness, and through those qualities He begins to defuse the powder keg waiting to explode the next time you spend time together with your family.

The beautiful thing about praying for the Lord to repair your family is you never have to ask if it is God's will. It is undoubtedly God's will for all families to be close and harmonious. We need only pray the Lord to make that our will, and the will of our family members as well.

More Fulfillment in Friendships-

What is a friend worth? What would you give for someone who could see you just as you are- yet like what he/she sees? Imagine a friend who sees your strengths and helps you with your weaknesses, one who would throw himself/herself in front of a bus to save you. How rare is a good friend?

But if you want your friendships to be more fulfilling, maybe you need to start by taking a good, hard look at yourself. Before you expect someone to be your closest friend, you better ask yourself if you're willing to be his or her closest friend? Are you willing to make sacrifices and to accept them just as they are? Are you willing to step in front of a bus for them?

Come to think about it, that's what your best friend already did for you. But He didn't step in front of a bus, He stepped in front of God! He took the full brunt of God's wrath and fury as He received God's punishment in your place. Jesus said,
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13)

And Jesus showed that greatest love by taking up His cross and laying down His life for you and for me and for each of us. You can have no better friend than your Savior, the mighty Son of God. And as you confess your sins and trust in His death for your life, Jesus will mold you into the kind of person others would love to have as their best friend.

So what things stand in the way of having more fulfilling friendships? Usually to deepen your friendships you need to deepen the commitment you make to your friends. The more of a friend you are to them, the more of a friend they are likely to be back to you.

Keep following Jesus, your best friend forever- then He will mold you into just such a best friend.

More Fulfillment in Being Single

Maybe it's your choice to be single- maybe it's not.

Some are content being single or even prefer to be free. If that's you then no doubt you want to feel like your singleness counts for something. That's important, because sometimes our society makes you feel like you are only a half-person if you are single.

If that's not you, then perhaps that's exactly what you feel- like a half-person who desperately needs a partner. Each day, month, season and year that passes feels like wasted time. In the meantime while you're still single, how can you transform this wasted time into something worthwhile?

Whatever is the cause of your single-hood, whether it was your choice or your circumstance- maybe even a traumatic event like widowhood or divorce- you can find peace and fulfillment in being single. The key is recognizing the opportunity God has presented to you, the same way Paul was able to make his single-ness count in a huge way for God and His Church.
³²I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs-how he can please the Lord. ³³But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-how he can please his wife- ³⁴and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-how she can please her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:32-34)

That's the reason Jesus remained single- so he could concentrate solely on fulfilling the mission God gave Him- to save humanity from its sins. He did that by living His life perfectly- a perfection He gives you as your own, then dying on the cross to suffer the punishment we all deserve for our faults and failures in life. Now you are free from worrying about how to handle your sins and God's wrath. And being free of the concern of how to please a husband or wife, you are now free to serve God and your neighbor with all your heart, mind, soul and strength.